Well, I'm starting on the second leg of my journey... The spring 2011 semester has just begun and Lab Dancers just finished the run of their third evening-length concert.

It was difficult for me to be in school and taking part in the show and I was saddened that I had to make drastic cuts to the amount of time that I had available to spend rehearsing. I gave up attending class altogether and, consequently, I felt like I had no outlet for my stress.

I also had to take a backseat from any administrative work I was doing with the dance company. I realized that part of what had made being involved with them feel so rewarding was helping to shape the entire process. It's a little less satisfactory to attend 7 rehearsals over the course of 3 months, perform and head home.

I'm still convinced that in the long run, learning more about how the human body moves and how to help dancers heal through physical therapy is exactly the right thing for me, but I'm truly anxious for the day when I can devote more time to dancing. One class + one rehearsal a week isn't asking that much, right?

One good thing that has come out of this is that taking a step back made me really able to evaluate with open eyes what I liked and what I disliked about the show we just closed, both the manner in which it was presented and the actual content of the pieces. It gave me a chance to clarify what I value as a dancer and as an audience member. I also got to think about what an audience member who is unfamiliar with concert dance (my very favorite type of audience) would get out a show like ours. To be honest, I have never thought of myself as an artist. I am more interest in the actual process of movement and the exhilaration of an adrenaline rush caused by jumping, falling, running, flipping, spinning... Any artistic expression I exhibit comes only from allowing the physicality of a phrase take over my emotions as well. I want to move and I want others to move with me. But now, for the first time in my life, I feel that I have something to offer an audience (my target audience of dance virgins, specifically) and I am eager to share!

Unfortunately, this revelation comes at a point when I am unable to take precious time away from studying electric fields and solving stoichiometry problems. My body is stuck in a lab instead of sweating in 1804. I don't even have the good fortune this semester of studying something related to human movement, just writing reports and running t-tests. This may the one time in my life when I am almost completely removed from dancing. No immediate plans for rehearsals, no time for class, just school, work, school, work. Forgive the drama, but I only just made the realization as I was typing.

In any case, I will be elbow-deep in a cadaver come summer, so there's no reason to fret. I will just have to hold on to this little seed of inspiration until I can find time to give it an outlet...